Thursday, January 16, 2014
Day Four: Calm
I rushed this morning to have breakfast with mom. I actually arrived before breakfast was being served. I walked in expecting to find mom in the dining room but she was not in there. Faye saw me and said I know she is awake, I already got her up and dressed, maybe she is in the other living room or maybe she is back in her room.
Faye and I began to walk towards mom room. Faye said, listen Cari called me at home last night about the wipe situation. She said I am "old School" I don't like to use the wipes unless I have to, I use a wash cloth - soap and water every morning to clean my residents up. If that is not OK I will use the wipes. I said that is fine with me, I just want to be sure that my mother is being cleaned.
Mom was not in her room, so Faye and I walked down to the other living room area. She was there sitting with a few ladies watching the news. Today she didn't have the baby doll but she had the Bear that Terri gave her before she left the last daycare and also the Cat stuffed animal that Shawn and I got her for Christmas.
The girl that works for APEX was there to meet with a resident, we immediately locked eyes and said hello. She said I was so excited when I saw your moms name on the new resident board last week. She asked me how I was doing, to which I began to cry......
The Care Managers began to gather all of the residents to take them to the dining rooms and I learned this time that mom can eat in either dinning room, so I walked her to the closest. Which ended up being a good fit as it was not as crowded and was quite. I sat mom down at a table for 4 that no one had yet sat at, that way I could actually SIT with her today. The APEX lady (I've got to learn her name) sat down with us as well as her resident that she came to work with. They tried to give mom oatmeal again this morning, but she spoke for herself and let them know that she did not like oatmeal. Manners are one of the first things to go with this disease.... Mom said No... Get that away from me! I don't want it...
The Care Manager was really nice and took the oatmeal right away and asked mom if she would like French Toast or Pancakes. I replied French Toast with scrambled eggs and one slice of bacon... PLEASE. Mom replied Yes, Please.
She spent most of the time trying to get me to eat her breakfast so in order to get her to eat, I would act as though I had taken a bite of the eggs. Mom did pretty well eating, almost 1/2 I would say. I looked at the clock and realized that it was already 9 and that I needed to get by @$$ to work. I told mom that I had to leave, but I would be back after work. When mom talks to you now her storied make little to no sense, so I just listed and everyone in a while say... Really... But today after I told her that I had to leave to go to work, She grabbed my arm and said you know you don't have to spend all of your time coming back here to see me... That brought tears to my eyes instantly.
The APEX lady said to me, you know those few moment of clarity that you rarely see? That was just one of them.... I began to leave but Melinda (the Med Nurse) stopped in the hallway and said your mom took her medicine for me this morning with no problem. I said to her remember me... I am Melinda, Lisa's friend. She asked me to make sure that you took your medicine. I was relieved that we made a break through with the medicine.
Remembering on my drive to work over and over what mom said to me before leaving... I cried the whole way.
I left work earlier today in order to again spend one on one time when she is not eating. I want to see how she interacts with me not around food. Does she relax, what is she doing, etc.
I walked into the building and there was a flood of people of the first floor waiting for the elevators.
I recognized the Care Managers and a lot of the residents from the memory area. I kept looking for mom, but she was not there. I asked Kayla (moms night Care Manager) if mom did not go and she said that she was not sure that she had just walked in the building as they were all getting on the elevator as well. She didn't think that they would have taken mom out of the memory area yet just as a flight risk since she had only been there not even a week. They were not 100% familiar with her actions or tendencies yet. I understood but was sad that mom did not get to go.
When I walked into the memory area Mom was walking around with her baby doll this time and jumped right in with the mix of people coming back into the doors. She told a lady to move it...
I rubber her arm and she noticed me and said oh Hi.. I said we don't tell people to move it... We need to be nice. She said well she needed to.. Move it. I had to get by. (what was I suppose to say to that. She did need to get by).
She and I walked over and sat in the living area and just talked. Like I said before I just listen mostly as not much of it makes an sense. She is on one topic one minute and off on another the next minute. All I can say is that it is like ADD. She was calm thought, not anxious.
Kayla stopped by and asked me if I was her daughter I said yes. She apologized for not formally introducing herself to me over the last few days. She said that she had just been crazy and off.
She told me that she was concerned that mom was not going to the bathroom for them other than in the morning and right before bed. Kayla said that they take her and her depends is dry but that she just does not go while sitting on the toilet. I told her that Shawn and I had this same problem sometimes, but it was usually before bedtime. I asked her if she wanted me to try and take her. She said if I didn't mind or that if I was uncomfortable that she could go with us. I said ... I have been doing this for more that a year I am not uncomfortable, but Thank you.
I took mom to the bathroom and had to hold her baby so no one took him while she was gone. She knew to pull her pants down in order to use the restroom, but again forgot the depends. I stopped her and reminded her to pull her depends down also. She sat on the toilet and went right away. No issue. I think that she is just not yet comfortable with them.
When we came out of the rest room the couch was now full so mom and I walked over to the other living room and sat down in a corner all by our selves. It was nice to just sit with her and hold her hand. She was so calm. I stayed for about 10 more minutes until they started to gather the residents for dinner and then I helped her to a table "with a view" and told her that I had to leave to go home. She asked me if I would be back tomorrow. I said Yes. Every morning I will be here. She said that was nice and that she would see me tomorrow. Right before I left I looked back to find her putting the spoons and forks in her pocket.... Made me smile :)
Here are a few photos from my visit with mom today. I will begin to add photos to each day.